Welcome to the world, Little J!

We have had quite a weekend, my friends!

On Friday at 2pm our social worker dropped off the most precious 5-day-old princess, fresh from her royal incubator 🙂

We have fallen in love…

Little ‘J’ has the sweetest temperament and apparently the maternity nurses were very sad to see her go. I would love to show you a picture of her sweet face, but can’t due to obvious legal reasons.

So far this little madam has been on her best behaviour. She is sleeping well and her eating habits are improving with lots of encouragement from this ‘mama’. She loves being cuddled and lying in the baby sling and wrap, but she is also happy to snooze by herself in her cot (hallelujah) . I’m feeling a little sleepy this evening, but our routine is working well and I am running high on happy mommy vibes… it’s quite amazing the effect a newborn can have on a person.

I have three more Love Stories scheduled for this week and will hopefully keep you up to date on my ‘J’-bug’s antics, if I have enough energy 🙂

If you’re a ‘real-life’ friend, feel free to pop over for tea and a cuddle.

xxx

Embracing the pink…

I haven’t had the opportunity yet to tell you more about our journey as emergency care givers. Don’t worry, I plan to give you the low-down soon enough! I just thought I’d pop by to tell you that as of tomorrow afternoon Terence and I will be looking after another little baba. I don’t have many details, but I do know that it’s a little girl and she was born on Monday, so she’s pretty new and teeny-tiny.

I always feel bitter-sweet before receiving a baba. I feel sad that for whatever reason, a mother has had to make the tough decision to part with her precious new baby. I feel sad that the added trauma of separation has to be felt by one so small, and I feel sad that this is not what God intended for mothers and children. I also feel happy. Grateful that I get to be a part of this little one’s story and that she never has to see the inside of an orphanage. Honoured to be the one who cuddles and loves and bonds with this precious child. Excited, for the journey of adoption and for the special family God has in mind for this precious child.

For some reason, we’ve only ever received baby girls to take care of. This has amounted to a lot of pink!

We LOVE pink!

I try to be organised so that I’m always on standby for any baby, but I am currently doing a mad-dash of washing and sorting and sterilizing. I can’t imagine how organised I’ll be if I have 9 months to prepare for a baba as I’ve only ever had 1 week max! I love looking after little girls as I’m a bit of a girly-girl myself and totally embrace the pink! 🙂

A few friends have asked how they can help us out over the next few weeks (friends, I love you, mkay!). When we started this process I resisted ‘too much help’ as I didn’t want people to think I was unable to look after this baby on my own. I now laugh at my foolishness as all seasoned moms know, help is always a blessing…and all moms need it. I will continue working from home, leading bible studies and doing my normal thing on top of caring for a newborn. I realise I am not superwoman, mkay. This ‘mama’ appreciates help.

If you would like to help us, please know that we really appreciate your generous, servant-heart…like in a BIG way! Here are a few things that would be appreciated.

  1. Prayer. Please pray for our hearts (mine especially). In order to give this baby the best, I allow myself to love them like I imagine Id love my own one day. These babies thrive on love, but it’s always very tough when they have to go to their new families. Please also pray for this baby’s future. Knowing God is in control makes this so much easier.
  2. Nappies and formula. We are pretty well-stocked up with baby gear; however, nappies and formula are an on-going, unexpected expense that puts some strain on our already-tight budget. If you would like to gift us with either, we would be so grateful as we don’t get ‘paid’ to care for these babas as some people think. We use pampers and Nan 1 for most of our babes.
  3. Time. My days get pretty full when juggling the working mama act; however I have been so touched when friends have popped by to visit and cuddle with baba or to bring a meal. As much as I wish I could spend all day staring into the little one’s eyes, I have to work, clean, cook etc and it can get a little bit overwhelming.
I promise to write more soon, but please forgive me if I go a little quiet every now and then. Moms, you know how it goes.

Tonight I plan to enjoy my last full-night’s sleep for a while 🙂

Tomorrow someone special will be wearing this outfit 🙂

Love Story… Kirsty and Leighton

Well, it seems people are in the mood for love these days as the Love Story posts are growing in popularity on this little blog. Who am I to deny you what you want? Please read on.

Today’s Love Story features one of my favourite couples, Kirsty and Leighton Ronne. I have known Kirsty (or Kitty as she is most affectionately known) since I was a young teen. She was my high school bible study leader and I learnt so many good things from her during those hormonally-charged years (Thanks for putting up with the drama, Kitty). After I matriculated our relationship turned into one of great friendship. Terence and I became youth leaders and we led with Leighton and Kirsty for many years. Their wedding was the first one Terence and I attended as a couple, and it will forever be remembered as the big party wedding with the fantastic ribs on the buffet table 🙂

Kitty, I want to take this opportunity to publically thank you for being such a special friend in my life; for showing me what it means to be a gracious, loving wife and mom; for teaching me to sew and for always encouraging me to live each day for Jesus.

You can read all about Kitty, Leights and their precious baby girl, Sadie-Mia over at luv bugg.

Kirsty and Leighton

I have a memory of my husband falling asleep on his mother’s lap! He must have been about 8 or so and it was a midnight Christmas services. Not many people can say that they married their childhood sweetheart but we did! I really did marry the man of my dreams!

But of course, this is real life and it’s not all rosy and perfect…  but it’s our story which is perfect to us!

Leighton and I went to Sunday school together. We witnessed each other grow up. I remember him rollerblading around church and playing cricket, going down the super tubes together, going on so many camps together! He was SO cool! I’ve liked him for as long as I can remember! When I thought about marriage as a 13 year old girl, he was the man in those daydreams!

I was not allowed to date until I was 16! So when the big date arrived, he asked (yes he did!) my dad if we can date! So we were ‘official’…  first kisses (ooh lala, braces and all!) and it was super exciting super awkward teenage love!

This pic was us going to Leighton’s Wynberg Standard 8 dance! (I was SO nervous!)

 

Then reality struck! It felt like too much pressure… people were asking us if we are going to get married! We were only 17 for goodness sake; I didn’t even know what I wanted to study when I finished school! So when I matriculated we broke up. It was a bad breakup! We didn’t speak for almost 3 years! L

One day I saw him on UCT Jammie steps! I nearly fainted because he was so beautiful! But as usual he had this humble and confident way about him! We started chatting, chats turned into walks, walks turned into long days together and we became BEST friends! I had been through a rough relationship and he told me something one day that I will never forget! He said to me “don’t be with anyone who treats you less than I treat you!”!

That affected me so much! What an amazing thing to say to me! I knew I loved him and I knew he loved me! Maybe we never stopped? We just needed time… and our Lord was preparing us, shaping us and moulding us into what HE wanted us to be!

Us at 20

 

I don’t know when we became ‘official’ again. He just loved me in such a real and unselfish way! We got married in November 2006 and it has been the BEST time of my life! God has blessed us with the most beautiful gift, Sadie-Mia who is the love of our lives!

Our wedding day

 

Pregnant with our baby girl

Our new little family

 

Our beautiful Sadie-Mia

 

A truly God-co-ordinated love story! Be sure to give Kitty some blog lovin’ here and over at luv bugg.

Love Story… Lizanne and Chris

As promised…

Today I’d like to introduce you to the lovely Lizanne. She blogs over at Clay Jar People. While Liz and I haven’t had all that much face-to-face time (hoping to change that), we are getting to know each other over the interweb and I am definitely enjoying reading all about her gorgeous son’s antics and her experiences as a SAHM on her blog. If you are looking for an honest, interesting review of pretty much any necessary baby product, Lizanne’s your girl. And if you want a baby item reviewed thoroughly, send it her way.

I asked Liz to tell you how she met her husband, Chris, and a little bit about their married life. This is what she had to say…

Lizanne and Chris

Its actually hard for me to remember exactly when we met… I know I noticed Chris and his family one Thursday evening when I went to band practice with my mom. I was 17 and dating another guy at the time, we had a bit of a messy, rocky relationship. Needless to say I wasn’t really in the market to meet someone.

I didn’t really pay much attention to Chris that time, as I was probably a bit distracted with school etc. However, when he joined our Youth band, I noticed he was pretty cute and friendly. I decided to befriend this guy, as he was new.

My favourite photo of Chris

Somewhere along the line, I realised I needed to get out of the messy relationship, and although I wasn’t really up for a new boyfriend, I did develop a crush on Chris. (Side note: he originally thought I was older than him – like 25) So being the gutsy girl I was, I asked my friend, Nikki, who knew him from their old church, for his number. I then smsed him to invite him to a braai/get together I was having at my house with a bunch of Youth from the church. Sadly his cell phone was apparently screwy or something was up with the signal… but he did not get my message. That next Sunday, I went up to him and said that he’d missed out on a great braai, and he should have replied. I think that was the same day he asked me for my number (it was May – and my family was going to Mosselbay for the next weekend). I gave him my number, and didn’t think anything of it.

The Friday following, I was in bed in the room I was sharing with my mom in my grandparents house, when I got an sms… It said something along the lines of “Youth was fun tonight. Thought I’d say hi”. This started an sms conversation which lasted till we both couldn’t stay awake… And continued the whole next day and night… Basically until I got home on Sunday. The conversation on Saturday was very much about my current boyfriend, and Chris’s ex. I told him about the messy relationship, and he (the gentleman he is), replied “You deserve someone who will treat you right”. As a bit of a joke, and some flirtation I guess, I replied ” Are you volunteering?” (Thinking he would see the joke and dismiss it…).

“Yes”

That pretty much is where we began… with that one sms. I know, I was terrible for “cheating” on my then-boyfriend, but hey. The rest of the weekend consisted of us discussing what we want in a relationship, and also when to make it official (obviously after I ended it with my boyfriend). But we count that Saturday, the 29th of May, as our dating anniversary.

Our first photo together - my hair is stupidly short!

I met up with my boyfriend that Tuesday I think, and broke it off. I don’t think he was too shocked, he wasn’t as into dating as I was.

That Thursday, Chris and I were officially official, this was confirmed to me, and the whole Youth band, when at practice during the prayer time Chris reached and held my hand. It was brilliant.

I know our first date was on a Sunday after church, but I’m not sure if it was the next weekend or exactly when. We spent the whole day at Canal Walk, just walking around, getting to know each other. We had pizza for lunch, and he bought us each keyrings with “Liz” on them, and hematite rings (yeah this boy was forward 😉 ) Sadly I broke both rings eventually, so I can’t even show what they looked like.

The rest, as they say is history… but what I will say is that we said that we loved each other not too long after and we both knew we didn’t want to date anyone else again. We believe that God brought us together, and in all honestly, He’s kept us together thus far.

So that’s our story… which is ongoing, and hopefully will “end” in heaps more Pittlets 😉

Our Wedding Day

Our 'bump' shoot - pregnant with Elijah

Our little family

Thanks so much for sharing your love story, Liz!

 

I’m ashamed…

Dear readers of this humble blog. I am completely ashamed by absence over the past week and a bit. I understand if you’ve deleted me from your google reader already – heck, I probable would have deleted myself. But if you just let me explain…

To say that the past few days have been HECTIC is an understatement. I contracted laryngitis that mutated into a ravenous form of bronchitis where my voice box was replaced with that of a 60-year-old smoking man. I tried to make this rough voice work for me, but lets just say grunting like a dog is not sexy!  My little bit of sunshine during this time was that Baby S came to stay with us for a few days. Yes, it was exhausting, but those of you who have met Baby S will know she has a gorgeous personality that could make even the Grinch smile.

Baby S doing her thing

Rocking those shoes!

So please forgive me this little ‘transgression’. I promise to try and be better and keeping this little blog up. I have 4 Love Stories ready to post  and will post Lizanne and Chris‘ story later today. Yes, I am aware that Valentine’s Day was yesterday and I never posted our love story, but it’s coming people, I promise!

Speaking of Valentine’s Day… If you celebrated it, I’d love to hear all about it. Mr Mentor made a point of reminding me that this Valentine’s Day fell in a leap year, and should therefore be referred to as ‘Manentine’s Day’. The man is quite the romantic, so I thought I’d indulge him a little. I made him a ‘man-pack’, complete with a 6-pack of Amstel, his favourite crisps, biltong and a lunch bar and tied it all together in a pretty red bow. I also cooked his favourite meal

Bangers and Mash with gravy and sauted onions.

What can I say, my man has simple tastes 🙂

He bought me a voucher for a mani and pedi (apparently the lady comes to your home to pamper you) so all in all, we fared pretty well. After dinner we headed to bible study and it was business as usual.

Sending you lots of love and happy thoughts on this beautiful Wednesday.

Check back soon for the next edition in the Love Story series.

Love Story… Cindy and Seth

As promised, today kick starts a little series I’m hosting called, Love Story.

When I think of an epic love story, I’m ashamed to admit that my mind often wanders to the great Hollywood romances displayed in movies such as Nottinghill, Casablanca, P.S. I love you, The Notebook (insert any movie with Hugh Grant here) etc. It is very seldom that I think of my marriage, or the marriages of my friends as epic love stories, when the  truth is that I would choose my marriage over the dysfunction of the Hollywood romance any day!

I have asked a few of my girlfriends to tell us their love stories over the next few weeks. I will be writing our little love story, too. No, none of our stories are particularly dramatic or filled with sneaky plot twists. In fact, we’re all pretty average Janes doing our best to honour our marriage vows and not snap at our husbands when they leave the cupboard doors open for the umpteenth time or forget to pick up their wet towels ahem, Terence.

And without further adieu, I introduce you to my first guest blogger, Cindy Alfino. Cindy is a fellow caramella lover. Besides all her fantastic skills and talents, her and her husband, Seth, have been blessed with the wonderful ability of making gorgeous babies. I am not saying this to be kind. Her girls are child-model beautiful with the sweetest personalities, too [ jealous much, Julie?]. Lets just say Julie and Terence’s hypothetical children are feeling a little nervous as the bar has been set rather high with the caramella kiddos at our church.

I absolutely love Cindy’s blog! She is a fantastic writer (this girl is unfairly gifted) and I was thrilled when she agreed to write her love story for this blog. Follow her and her family’s antics at http://alfinos.wordpress.com.

Cindy and Seth

Once upon a 8 and a half years ago, there was a little 16 year old girl that went on Crossword Camp.  There she saw one of the most handsomest men in the World!  Upon enquiry (discretely of course), she found out that his name was Seth Alfino and he was one of the most unattainable guys you could get.  Why you may wonder?  Well because it was told that before you could get to the handsome Seth, you would have to go through his Mother…  Besides which, he was part of the “cool crowd”, the crowd that this girl just wasn’t a part of.  However just before leaving the camp there was a shared smile between the two and thereafter all was set in motion.  (Later we realised that we had actually danced together a couple of times during the barn dance, but neither of us remembered that until we saw it on tape – thinking about it, that’s probably not a very good sign!).

My Favourite Pic... Weird I know

Although Seth would like to claim that my change to St James was only because of him, it would be a lie to say that St Timothy’s youth disappearing was not a factor (albeit small).  So I started going to St James in Grade 11.  I couldn’t keep my eyes off him.  What can I say, he is flipping hot!  I never in my wildest dreams thought that he even took notice of me, but that wasn’t going to stop me from trying – I’m nothing if not persistent (secretly somewhere deep down, I still remember thinking that I was going to marry this guy – what a flipping stalker!)  What makes this crazy mix even stranger, is that Mia (Seth’s oldest sister) taught me at St Timothy’s when I was like 10 or so, and I remember talking to her about whether she had a brother.  She said yes and I thought that I should meet him because she is so pretty, which obviously means he should be pretty hot too.

One day (during church – naughty, naughty), I got a sms that said something super cheesy like “you’re looking hot tonight”.  It was from a number that I didn’t know and so my hopes started rising.  After flirting ridiculously all evening and having butterflies in my tummy the whole time, I thought I would put my mind at ease and ask one of my friends if it was Seth’s number.  When I called to ask her, she said “Why would he want to talk to you” but confirmed it was the right number.  I too thought it was too good to be true and tried to play it cool.  However my phone never left my sight for many weeks thereafter and we kept up the smsing.  We even progressed to phone calls made secretly from his Dad’s phone.  It was officially official on 21 September 2003.

On our first date we went out with Byron (mostly because Seth didn’t have his license yet – I think he was on attempt 3 at this stage) to Cavendish to watch some movie or other.  We went to Look and Listen (because that’s just what you did when you went to Cavs as a teenager with little to no money) and we stood under the bubbles that you could hear the music from the CD that you selected.  Seth then played Michael Buble  – The Way You Look Tonight.  My heart melted even more.

Meeting his parents was probably the most terrifying thing I have ever done in my life, you know especially considering all the rumours about having to “go through his mother” and all that.   And my fears managed to live up to real life for once…

**–**–** MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT **–**–**

Yes, meeting Seth’s Mom was my most embarrassing moment of all time.  I am a very nervous person – deathly, nauseously, teeth chatteringly nervous.  It was finally the day where I couldn’t avoid it anymore.  I was petrified.  So into the kitchen we go and Seth says to his Mom, “This is Cindy”.

Seth’s Mom – Hi Cindy, I’m Colleen.

Cindy – Hi Cindy…

Awkward silence, blushing profusely and feeling downright retarded, I just walked away, like an even bigger loser…  Because, yes, I had just said Hi Cindy back to my future mother in law…

Thankfully it all got a lot better after that.

We got married early in 2007 and had the typical 5 year plan, where after 5 years we would “consider” having children.  Now almost 5 years married (in March) we already have 2 precious baby girls!  The Lord knew what would actually work for us more than we did – I wouldn’t trade our little family for anything.

Things in the Alfino household are fun, tiring, lovely and often just plain chaotic, but every day is a real blessing to spend together, working at this awesome new phase of life.

Seth, Cindy, Kyla and Riya

Yes, my husband’s hair is real!

I cannot tell you how many times I get asked the following three questions about Terence’s hair:

1. Is it real?

2. How does he manage to wash it? / Does he wash it?

3. Can I touch it?

I thought I’d set the record straight once and for all, on the interweb so you know I’m telling the truth! 🙂

But first I’ll start with a little story…

Once upon a time a girl and a boy started dating and fell in love. The girl thought the boy was very handsome and an all-around awesome guy. He proposed and she said ‘yes’.

Engaged!

A few months later, they got married…

Happy couple

The boy decided now that he was married to the girl and she was committed to him for life, it was time to UPgrade his image…

It begins...

At first the girl hardly noticed the slightly longer curls… then she reminded the boy that he hadn’t visited the barber since before their wedding.

Before she knew it, this happened…

Afro Man

Her initial concern was that he wasn’t able to find any suitable hats to protect his precious head…

A sun hat too small

A riding hat too tight

And then she discovered that he was using ALL her shampoo! What was the girl to do?

The boy calmed her down and promised her he’d buy them an extra large bottle of shampoo to share.

He also told her his afro gave him Samson strength…

Terence's alter-ego, Afro Man!

Upon looking at her husband, the girl realised that the boy’s hair made him extra handsome too. She told him she didn’t mind it too much after all.

They lived happily ever after.

The end.

So in love

So, to set the record straight; the answers to the above questions:

1. Yes, Terence’s hair is real. I think it would be rather odd for a grown man to wear an afro wig every day, don’t you? The last time he cut his hair short was two days before our wedding.

2. Terence is super particular about personal hygiene! The man takes 30 minute showers whilst singing his special selection of ‘shower songs’ (Feel free to pop over and I’ll let you listen outside the door for a nominal fee 🙂 ) He washes his hair about every second to third day, using plenty of shampoo AND conditioner. I also make him go to a hairdresser whose specialty is ‘afro maintenance’ for a trim and a treatment. So, yes, his hair is clean!

3. Well, can I touch your hair? We don’t quite understand why people are obsessed with touching Terence’s hair. But if you feel you must, please ask first! Most people just dive right in with their probably unwashed fingers and give his hair a good pat/ ruffle. We’ve also had slightly inebriated girls tiptoe behind him and give his hair a strong tug and then run back, giggling, to their friends.

This is UNCOOL, mkay!

If you’re feeling tempted, ask yourself if you’d like it if someone ran their fingers through your hair or your husbands hair? If this won’t deter you, ask and you’ll discover that Terence is quite obliging most of the time.

We understand that people don’t see afros every day, but some people need to work on making their double stare (you know, the look – turn your head – look again) less obvious. It’s just hair, people.

Extra awesome hair, that is.

Embracing the 'fro

Welcome to February!

Welcome to February, girls and boys!

Yes, I am aware that February started yesterday, but as with most things in my life, I am always one step behind everyone else.

I am currently eating Maggie 2 minute noodles and waiting for my husband to let me know when he has arrived back at the office after a 4-day meet-and-greet with the lovely people of the Southern Cape. It always sucks when Terence is away for work, but this time was especially bad as my solo-wife Monday meal consisted of sushi that gave me a particularly awful case of food poisoning :(Terence is very good at taking care of me meeting my every whim when I’m sick, but this time, this pathetic girl had to hold her own bucket, if you know what I mean…

On to happier things.

February is the ‘month of love’ and while Terence and I don’t go overboard with Valentines celebrations, I thought I would dedicate this month of blogging about all things lovely. Tomorrow’s post focuses on something Terence loves… his hair. I’ll give you my opinion on that one too so make sure you stop by. I’m also hosting an exciting series called Love Story with some of my favourite real-life blog friends, but more on that on Monday.

Talking about feeling the love…. According to my blog stats, I’ve had over 500 hits on this blog since I started it last week. I feel incredibly honoured that so many people have bothered to see what I’m getting up to, so thank you! However, out of the 500 people, only 8 have left comments and so I have no clue who the other 492 gorgeous people are? Please give me so interweb love and leave a comment when you pop by, mkay. This girl could do with some encouragement right now. If my posts nauseate you, let me know too.  I don’t  mind a little bit of constructive criticism every now and then 😉

And speaking of love…

Here’s an old picture of me with a little boy I love very much!

Me and my Zazi-mouse

The day we pretended to be rock stars…

Party like a rock star with Peroni!

So as many of you know, Mr Mentor has quite an interesting job working for a rather well-known radio station in Cape Town. As with any job, it has its ups and downs. A definite ‘up’ is that we occasionally get invited to fancy events where we get all dressed up and pretend to be rock stars!

Last year we got invited to Peroni’s Italian Summer Yacht Party. To sum it up: about 100 guests boarded a fleet of yachts that cruised from the Waterfront to Clifton 4th and back. We were wined and dined, photographed, filmed by cameramen in helicopters hovering over us, and definitely entertained. The theme was nautical and their purpose was to give us a ‘glimpse’ of the Italian life of luxury associated with their brand. If that’s what all Italians experience, how do I get citizenship???

When we arrived at Clifton 4th we were allowed to hop on speed boats and visit the other yachts. Our yacht was one of the smaller ones with a price tag of ONLY R13 million. The others were huge and filled with party people who seemed to be rather obsessed with the Locnville boys and the girls from Clifton Shore (I had to admit to a very excitable dude that I had no clue what Clifton Shore/ Jersey Shore was! Don’t hate, mkay, we only have SABC).

The whole yacht experience lasted about 6 hours and when we returned to the Waterfront the party continued on the docks with steak, gelato and espresso served by waitrons dressed in sailor suits.

By the end of the evening we had made new friends, eaten too much, got a little sunburnt, shmoozed for the camera and made many memories. We also made an effort to find the event co-ordinator and thank her for inviting us. It paid off because we were invited to enjoy another yacht experience later that year. More on that at another time.

For now, enjoy some pics!

Do we look Italian, baby?

Our car.... JOKES! Ours was the only crappy car in the parking lot...

Some of the yachts

'Captain' Terence 🙂

That couch became the designated 'bed' for those suffering from seasickness. Thankfully the Mentors had purchased anti-nausea meds and were sorted!

Jack and Rose, we honour you!

Cape Town, you are beautiful!

Terence's Lionel Richie curls. He was in the water for 2 minutes before having to be pulled out because he was numb.

Our dorky personalities could not be contained, despite trying to act like rock stars...

Embracing the inner 'dork' with new friends 🙂

 

In case you forgot who sponsored this party... oh, and always wear sunblock!

This is what happens when you get too much sun... you have a 'lady and the tramp' moment with lettuce.

 

A Letter To Girls I Know (on Modesty)

 

I stumbled across this post on modesty on annawood’s blog and thought I’d like to share it with you and hear your thoughts. Sheesh, it’s only her second post and already she’s going all deep and serious on us! I hear you, I hear you, hence I am going to cleverly share the words spoken by someone much wiser than I.

This post was written by a man who has requested that his identity be kept anonymous. As a Christian woman, the topic of modesty is often on my mind. Like most women, I like to dress ‘fashionably’ (read – try to dress fashionably) and comfortably, but I also like to ensure that everything is ‘in its place’ (if you know what I mean…). When Mr Mentor and I go to the mall we are often flabbergasted by the outfits the tweenies are sporting; shorts clearly made for toddlers and tight tops to match. I can’t help but stare and so I can only imagine what goes through the minds of those poor pubescent boys! And while I wish it was a stage that girls grow out of, I often come across older women and when talking to them, have to resist the urge to tell them to put their ‘girls’ away. Do I believe that women control the thoughts of mindless men by dressing inappropriately? Heck no! But I think women proclaiming to be Christians need to take some responsibility for the way they present themselves to the world and the kind of attention they draw to themselves.

Have a read and let me know what you think. Below is the first part of this letter.

A Letter to the Girls I Know:
Dear Girls, 

There are two kinds of men: Godly men, and worldly men. What kind of man do you want? I’m betting most of you said “a Godly man.” Someday, you want to marry a man who loves God with every fiber of his being because he will be an excellent husband and father. He will honor and be true only to you. Most women want a Godly man or at least think they do. Well, I think I have found a way to tell you exactly what kind of guy you will get. I don’t even have to know you! All I have to do is look at you. The kind of guy you want or will get is advertised by the clothing you wear. I know what men want. Trust me, I am a guy. I know more guys than you do and I know them better. I know what we think, what we talk about, what we want, and what we look for, and it is different for each one of us depending on our relationship with God. I’m sure you already know this, but men were created differently than you. We have different desires and priorities. Our eyes and minds react very differently to some things than yours do. It isn’t disgusting, perverted, or wrong; it is wonderful and good! It is how God made us. It’s how we handle these differences that separate a Godly man from a worldly man.

A worldly man doesn’t control himself, rather, he looks at anything that attracts his attention or gets him excited. A worldly guy has no problem when girls wear clothes that show off skin, like boxers, high or low-cut shirts, low-rise jeans, and “cute” little swim-suits. He’s a fan of tight-fitting shirts and pants that show off your form, he thinks they’re fine! Worldly guy watches a lot of TV and R-rated movies, isn’t really offended by sexual content or nudity and secretly dabbles in pornography. He’s a “Christian” and makes up a significant portion of your church and youth group. He’s a really nice guy and sees you mainly for your body. If you were to marry worldly guy, he’d bring lots of baggage into the relationship, have intimacy problems, entertain thoughts of other women, and possibly cheat on you.

A Godly man is in control of his drives and desires. He constantly seeks God and reads his Bible. He “walks in the Spirit” and isn’t set off by everything he sees. When immodestly-dressed girls, magazine covers, or risqué advertisements come into view, Godly guy quickly “bounces his eyes” away from the image. He’s constantly guarding his thoughts and what he allows into his mind. He hates being around girls that disrespect him and his struggles by wearing inappropriate attire. Godly guy doesn’t watch much TV and is selective about the movies he sees. He views you as a person, knows you and respects you. He has your best interests in mind and guards against inappropriate thoughts of you. If you were to marry Godly guy, he would give you the emotional attention you need, he would ignore other women and remain faithful to you no matter what.

To read the rest of this article, please go here, then come back and tell me what it means to be ‘modest’ in 2012.