A Letter To Girls I Know (on Modesty)


I stumbled across this post on modesty on annawood’s blog and thought I’d like to share it with you and hear your thoughts. Sheesh, it’s only her second post and already she’s going all deep and serious on us! I hear you, I hear you, hence I am going to cleverly share the words spoken by someone much wiser than I.

This post was written by a man who has requested that his identity be kept anonymous. As a Christian woman, the topic of modesty is often on my mind. Like most women, I like to dress ‘fashionably’ (read – try to dress fashionably) and comfortably, but I also like to ensure that everything is ‘in its place’ (if you know what I mean…). When Mr Mentor and I go to the mall we are often flabbergasted by the outfits the tweenies are sporting; shorts clearly made for toddlers and tight tops to match. I can’t help but stare and so I can only imagine what goes through the minds of those poor pubescent boys! And while I wish it was a stage that girls grow out of, I often come across older women and when talking to them, have to resist the urge to tell them to put their ‘girls’ away. Do I believe that women control the thoughts of mindless men by dressing inappropriately? Heck no! But I think women proclaiming to be Christians need to take some responsibility for the way they present themselves to the world and the kind of attention they draw to themselves.

Have a read and let me know what you think. Below is the first part of this letter.

A Letter to the Girls I Know:
Dear Girls, 

There are two kinds of men: Godly men, and worldly men. What kind of man do you want? I’m betting most of you said “a Godly man.” Someday, you want to marry a man who loves God with every fiber of his being because he will be an excellent husband and father. He will honor and be true only to you. Most women want a Godly man or at least think they do. Well, I think I have found a way to tell you exactly what kind of guy you will get. I don’t even have to know you! All I have to do is look at you. The kind of guy you want or will get is advertised by the clothing you wear. I know what men want. Trust me, I am a guy. I know more guys than you do and I know them better. I know what we think, what we talk about, what we want, and what we look for, and it is different for each one of us depending on our relationship with God. I’m sure you already know this, but men were created differently than you. We have different desires and priorities. Our eyes and minds react very differently to some things than yours do. It isn’t disgusting, perverted, or wrong; it is wonderful and good! It is how God made us. It’s how we handle these differences that separate a Godly man from a worldly man.

A worldly man doesn’t control himself, rather, he looks at anything that attracts his attention or gets him excited. A worldly guy has no problem when girls wear clothes that show off skin, like boxers, high or low-cut shirts, low-rise jeans, and “cute” little swim-suits. He’s a fan of tight-fitting shirts and pants that show off your form, he thinks they’re fine! Worldly guy watches a lot of TV and R-rated movies, isn’t really offended by sexual content or nudity and secretly dabbles in pornography. He’s a “Christian” and makes up a significant portion of your church and youth group. He’s a really nice guy and sees you mainly for your body. If you were to marry worldly guy, he’d bring lots of baggage into the relationship, have intimacy problems, entertain thoughts of other women, and possibly cheat on you.

A Godly man is in control of his drives and desires. He constantly seeks God and reads his Bible. He “walks in the Spirit” and isn’t set off by everything he sees. When immodestly-dressed girls, magazine covers, or risqué advertisements come into view, Godly guy quickly “bounces his eyes” away from the image. He’s constantly guarding his thoughts and what he allows into his mind. He hates being around girls that disrespect him and his struggles by wearing inappropriate attire. Godly guy doesn’t watch much TV and is selective about the movies he sees. He views you as a person, knows you and respects you. He has your best interests in mind and guards against inappropriate thoughts of you. If you were to marry Godly guy, he would give you the emotional attention you need, he would ignore other women and remain faithful to you no matter what.

To read the rest of this article, please go here, then come back and tell me what it means to be ‘modest’ in 2012.


One thought on “A Letter To Girls I Know (on Modesty)

  1. goodness lady! You’re taking over from me here… 😉 I have gotten very lazy with the modesty posts. But when I saw three 11 year old dressed like 21 year olds the other day I was horrified! I don’t believe modesty requires prudishness or turtlenecks… but I do think care needs to be takes. Maybe check out this modesty checklist, by the ladies who write at Girl Talk: http://www.familylife.com/atf/cf/%7B8E975F2E-4C1C-4315-AAFF-34A97EB367B5%7D/modestycheck.pdf

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